groovy and beautiful

I saw Francesca recently, and she shared another invaluable spot of wisdom with me, "you can be in love for just one hour, three hours, an evening." That is to say that love doesn't have to be some long-term state for which we are endlessly questing, but rather, something that is always available to us, moment by moment.

This notion reminds me of something I read recently (in one of the four books I'm currently making my way though). Tiny Beautiful Things is the compilation of Cheryl Strayed's advice column, Dear Sugar. A friend gave me this book in exchange for a strategy session for her project, and there are raw, direct nuggets of wisdom on every other page. This particular snippet -- and the concept it represents -- is probably my favorite so far:

"A proclamation of love is not inherently 'loaded with promises and commitments that are highly fragile and easily broken.' The terms you agree to in any given relationship are connected to, but not defined by, whether you've said 'I love you' or not. 'I love you' can mean I think you're groovy and beautiful and I'm going to do everything in my power to be your partner for the rest of my life. It can mean I think you're groovy and beautiful but I'm in transition right now, so let's go easy on the promises and take it as it comes. It can mean I think you're groovy and beautiful but I'm not interested in a commitment with you, now or probably ever, no matter how groovy or beautiful you continue to be." (p.17)

Taken together, these two pieces of wisdom help us see that love is created, and while it certainly dances with conditions, love itself is not conditional. The ironic thing is that when you live moment by moment like this, you are constantly in love -- with people, with experiences, with life. And isn't that type of love what we're all searching for in "forever"?

A beautiful morning in Harlem. Rhianna and I were walking down 125th Street to the train, feeling especially groovy and especially in love with this sparkling morning. 

A beautiful morning in Harlem. Rhianna and I were walking down 125th Street to the train, feeling especially groovy and especially in love with this sparkling morning. 

images: @coolandthoughtful -- Instagram.

PS - I think you're groovy and beautiful, too.